How to win at racquetball

Racquetball seems so easy -- all you have to do is hit the giant 20x20 foot wall in front of your face with the ball. Oh, and it's okay if it bounces of a few other walls in the process. But if you've ever been unable to score any points on a man whose only few hairs on his head were bright white, and who was unashamed to wear green-striped tube socks up to his knees, you know there's a little more to it.

Here's the secret that Old Ned knows all too well:

You know those shots that hit the front wall 2 inches off the floor in the corner? Those are called "kill shots", and if you can do that every time, you'll pretty much win every game.

Already knew that? Oh. Well then, most people can't hit shots that accurately (including me), so here are 6 shots that have a nice margin of error, and can be really tough to return -- each picture shows 2 different types of shots -- your opponent isn't pictured, but his location doesn't usually matter much for these shots. =)




Corners are always a good place to send the ball.

Any time you can bounce the ball off of both side walls in a single shot you're going to get some interesting effects from the spin (see the high-z and offensive splat shots above).

Also, unless you're playing with little kids, when you're in the middle of the court resist the temptation to hit the ball right in the middle of the front wall. Hit the side wall first, as low and hard as you feel comfortable so it'll still hit the front wall. These are generally much tougher to return.

You probably still won't beat Old Ned, but at least your other friends will get some exercise.

Desktop Tower Defense

One of the most addictive games I've ever played...

The mundane

Ever seen the acronym "WWJD"? It stands for "What would Jesus do?". I often ask myself that question when difficult problems arise -- and usually the answer is not immediately obvious. For example, someone who is obviously homeless asks you for money for beer or "smokes" -- what exactly would Jesus do in that case?

Knowing the right thing to do can be tricky. I think I figured out one special case this week that I didn't want to forget:

Suppose God came down and told everyone in the world they needed to do some really boring and pointless task a thousand times. What do you think an apostle such as Elder Eyring or Elder Oaks would do? Get a really determined look on his face, and doggedly start into it? Or maybe consider it a painful sacrifice and fully suffer through all the iterations?

I think I know -- none of the above! He'd turn it into a game, and make it the most fun thing around -- so fun that other people would want to join in just to be part of it. Pretty soon everyone would be hanging around, singing and telling jokes, trying different techniques or challenging themselves to do the best job they could. And they'd be sad when it was over.*

Enduring to the end is not about white knuckles or dogged determination so much. It's about finding ways to enjoy the journey, and help others to honestly feel the same. These people are never really sad, and to me that just seems like a great way to live.

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* Sounds a little like our dry packing service projects at the cannery...

Well-traveled paths

When I was younger, subconsciously I'd find myself selecting actors and actresses from TV and movies as heroes -- men I thought I wanted to be like, and women I thought I wanted to marry.

Unfortunately time and again I would discover that my heroes were mostly dirtbags in real life. For example, remember Fred Savage from the Wonder Years? I happened to catch a trailer for his latest series on HBO*, which appears to be mostly a series of sex scenes interrupted by bad acting.

But Fred's not an anomaly, Hollywood does this to people. Anne Hathaway, Lindsay Lohan, and Macaulay Culkin come to mind at the moment -- beautiful people coerced off into dark places and imprisoned in their own personal hell.

"It's beautiful art! The glamour and the glitz and the money aren't the only benefits -- there's plenty of alcohol, drugs, and flings too!"

Get ready for the truth: some guy writes out his fantasies and finds sad beautiful people to act them out. Then they are paid for it. And guess what it's called when someone has sex with someone else and gets paid for it?

Prostitution.

I still catch myself looking for role models in the movies, but memory and experience soon bring me back to the real world.

I still have heroes, but you won't see them in the movies. They're the older ones who've stayed strong year after year, doing what they know is right and smiling all the while. Grandma Jones, my parents, Neal A. Maxwell, and a few others I won't mention -- beautiful happy people whose lives seem to say, "Hang in there, you can do it!"

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* Note, I don't have cable.

Blind, unquestioning obedience?

The other day a friend at work asked me about the Mormon church demanding "complete" or "blind unquestioning obedience" of its members. Just hearing the phrase brings to mind the horrors of Nazi Germany and the Peoples Temple in Jonestown, doesn't it?

Every time I hear reference to that, I unconsciously cock my head to the side, finding myself trying to connect to what the person might be talking about. Am I a pawn on some huge chessboard, being used to do someone's dirty work?

The idea is hard to discredit personally since it implies I've been duped from the start and my disbelief is merely an indicator that they've done a good job duping me. Sort-of like the claim that the Masons are running the government. "Don't believe it? Well you're not in on it, so you wouldn't know!"

Bottom line:

Do I obey my priesthood leaders? Yes!
Do I obey God's commandments? Yes!

Why? Because I trust both God and my priesthood leaders because they've proven themselves trustworthy to me time and again throughout my life. Over and over I've been asked to do things, and I knew and felt at the time it was the right thing. We constantly are out counseling, helping, training, teaching, reasoning, listening. The bishop directs these efforts, and it's a wonderful experience. Given that history, if my bishop asked me to do something strange, I would do it because I trust him. It's the same as if it were my best friend asking me to do something. It's all about trust.

There's a big difference between being asked to do something hard and being asked to do something that's wrong. I often obey and do things that are hard, even if I disagree*, because I know I've been blessed for my obedience in the past. When all is said and done, I will do my best to obey God or His servants, and the record will show that. On the other hand, I've never been asked to do something I thought was wrong, nor do I know of anyone who has (except for a couple of scriptural accounts, Joshua, Saul, Nephi, etc.). If I were asked, I would spend a lot of time on my knees making sure it was what God wanted. I don't follow men, I follow God who works through good men, and it's up to me to make sure I'm on His side, wherever that is.

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* It's rare that I disagree, I almost always believe it's what's best at the time. One example of me disagreeing was when we were asked by a Stake President to not watch TV for a month. I didn't think it made much sense at the time, but I understood the point and I did it. I think in the end it was a good experience, and I felt good knowing my willpower was strengthened a little. Even so, those kinds of requests are incredibly rare in the church...

Why I love my mom

Most folks on Mother's Day talk about how wonderful and perfect their mothers were -- but I'll spare you that.

My mom is a terrific mom, but that's not why I'm writing this. A clean house, great figure, and fresh baked bread don't matter much to a little kid. This little kid, yours truly, appreciated the band-aids on scraped knees, her time teaching me to make chocolate chip cookies and snuggling on her lap when it was cold. I miss that comfortable and secure feeling knowing that mom was there, and everything would be okay.

Not only that -- my mom never gave up, even when things went wrong or crazy (even in the rare case when the wrong or crazy was her fault). Having that example is priceless for a kid surrounded by people giving up when things got hard. At every crossroads in her life she had a choice, whether to do the easy things, or the right things -- but she knew what was right and she did it.

You do what your parents did unless you consciously decide to do differently. I'm so grateful for a good set of "defaults".

I love you, Mom.

Approaching Mormon Doctrine

Learning about a religion can be daunting, especially when practically speaking, unbiased information doesn't exist!

Today the Church released a nice summary of how to approach "Mormon" doctrine. I especially appreciate the emphasis on the need to distinguish what's important from what's not. The core "Mormon" doctrine is not about polygamy or temples or jello salad -- it's about Jesus Christ and his mission. Everything else is ancillary.

Along a similar vein, for those who are skeptical about the Book of Mormon and still haven't read it, here's a 2-page summary of the doctrines from the January and July 2004 Ensigns (Church magazines).

PBS: The Mormons -- Update

"Mormonism teaches love and respect, but..."
"The Mormon home is a haven from the world, but..."
"For Mormons, temples are the holiest places on earth, but..."

Sound familiar? I'm seriously surprised that this program would've been considered "balanced". Most of the speakers were non-members who were only casually knowledgeable about the church, or excommunicated members*. This is like producing a piece on Germany using mostly British and French university professors (and German expatriates!).

For those who are troubled by what was said, make sure you visit Jeff Lindsay's site. There's another side to the issues that wasn't presented. "Rational argument does not create belief, but it maintains a climate in which belief may flourish." - Austin Farrer. And there's *plenty* of argument for most of what was said.

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* Getting excommunicated is not easy -- you basically have to either do something terrible, or actively do very wrong things and flat refuse to even *try* to change. These aren't just poor souls who didn't fit the "mold".