Post turtle

My uncle Jim just sent this out:

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old Texas rancher, whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Obama and his bid to be our President.

The old rancher said, "Well, ya know, Obama is a 'post turtle'." Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a "post turtle" was. The old rancher said, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a 'post turtle'."

The old rancher saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain. "You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, he doesn't know what to do while he is up there, and you just wonder what kind of a [dummy] put him up there to begin with."*

I must give Obama some credit: he does speak very well, and has an excellent presence on camera, as well as an impressive ability to respond to criticism. I suppose the stereotypical politician is known for smooth-talking, vague unfulfillable promises, and appeasement -- he seems to fit that mold almost perfectly.

That said, this is a man who, as far as I can tell, has never authored a bill in Congress nor lead anything substantial, and has used illegal drugs. Is this really the best our country can produce?

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* Note, this is conveniently un-sourced, but a simple Google search points out that this is rather old and appears to have been first applied to G.W. Bush.

I'm glad somebody finally told him

Microsoft's new ad campaign with Jerry Seinfeld is out now, and uh... I guess I'm not really sure what the point is -- I don't feel any more desire to go out and buy one of Microsoft's self-torture devices. I did think it was pretty funny though, almost like an old Seinfeld episode.

Best quote:

[Bill,] you're livin' in some kinda moon house hovering over Seattle like the mothership, and I got so many cars I get stuck in my own traffic.

Ha ha, somebody had to tell him -- glad it was Jerry.

I do find it somehow wrong that Bill Gates is the richest man on earth -- I guess I just thought that title should belong to someone with more... charisma, maybe?

"My life didn't smell like this before"

There aren't many things that make me laugh out loud every time I hear them, but this is one of them:

from Morning Sentinel

In July [2007], a tractor-trailer overturned on Walker Road in Norridgewock, Maine, and its contents of nitrogen-concentrated chicken manure spilled onto rusted cars and the rest of the property of junk dealer Richard White.

Days later, "There's stuff still 20 feet up the tree," he said. "It was like a tsunami wave of hot chicken [manure]," he told the Waterville Morning Sentinel. White grumbled that the truck company was slow on the cleanup, probably, he said, because his property is largely junk. "They think I'm a hick and don't matter.

But my life didn't smell like this before." "I hate flies."

Maybe I'm still a 7th grader at heart, but I just can't imagine a "tsunami wave" of hot chicken manure washing over a yard-full of junk without laughing.

"There's stuff still 20 feet up the tree"!

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Original is here and full story here. Shelly, it's only 2 and a half hours drive from Bar Harbor, that'd be a fun road-trip! You gotta get a picture with this guy. =)

Medal Counts

Here's a fascinating look at Olympic medal counts over the years.

Just for fun, switch to the "by Ranking" tab, then step through the years from 1896 thru 1912 comparing the location of the games to who won the most medals. Coincidence? Also note who came out ahead in the 1936 Olympics in Berlin, under Hitler's watchful eye (see number 5 here).

What McCain should say...

Neat commentary by Glenn Beck.

Acting "as we ought not act"

Robert H. Todd:

"When I was a boy I had a wonderful little cocker spaniel dog named Smokey. Smokey liked to play ball by having me throw the ball as far as I could behind the shop in our backyard, by the woodpile, among the fruit trees, or in the garden—wherever. Smokey would not give up until he found that ball and brought it back to me, only to repeat the cycle again and again. Smokey became my best friend, and I loved to play with him day after day.

"Smokey had only one fault. Not only was he obsessed with chasing and retrieving tennis balls, but he was also obsessed with climbing our front fence and chasing after loud trucks passing by on our side street.

"One day I heard a truck coming, and immediately I thought of Smokey. Before I could reach the front gate to stop him, he had climbed the gate and was already halfway across our front lawn, headed for the wheels of the truck at full speed. I called for him to stop as loud as I could, but it was no use. Within an instant he was nipping at one of the rear wheels of the truck, running to keep up. A few seconds later one of his rear legs somehow slipped and got caught under one of the wheels, also pulling his pelvis under the wheel. Smokey was left in the street crying and yelping in tremendous pain.

"I ran over to him and tried to comfort him. As I got close enough, he immediately bit my hand as hard as he could. I was astonished. Why would this wonderful dog I loved so much bite me? My mom came out of the house, and somehow we were able to get Smokey in a large burlap bag and into the car. At the vet’s office we were told that Smokey’s body had been so badly hurt that he would have to be put to sleep. I was devastated and confused.

"What happened was not an easy thing for a little boy to understand. It took me some years to learn the lesson from the experience. Those who are hurting often strike out and hurt those they love most, simply because they are hurting. Have you noticed that sometimes when we hurt, this is how we treat our Heavenly Father and others? This is not how our Savior acted when He was hurt—when He was despised and spit upon by others and when He was crucified.

"It is not easy, but, in the long run, learning to act like our Savior Jesus Christ and to love our fellow man and God no matter what hurt may come to us is easier than any other alternative. With God’s help I know we can overcome the natural man and become like Him. Elder Gene R. Cook explained it this way: 'As we increasingly think and act like Him, the attributes of the natural man will slip away to be replaced by the heart and the mind of Christ.'

"Many years ago I learned from a wonderful man who served as my mission president, Elder Glen L. Rudd, that all of us need four things in our lives:

1. We need to be loved.
2. We need to be trusted.
3. We need to be understood.
4. We need to feel that our work is appreciated.

"When any one or more of these four needs are missing in our lives, we often will act as we ought not to act. Understanding this can be a great help in learning to love others, no matter what they may do. It can also help us see why we are not acting at times as we ought to be acting. When you see a friend or loved one letting the natural man take over and not acting as they ought to, ask yourself which one or more of these four needs might be lacking in their lives—or, for that matter, we should ask this same question when we are not acting as we ought to act in our own lives.

"I want to make you a promise. If you see someone acting as they ought not to act, ask Heavenly Father if there is something you might do to help them feel more loved, more trusted, more understood, or more appreciated for their efforts. If you ask sincerely, really wanting to help because you love them-and God—the Holy Ghost will give you some inspiration—even revelation—concerning what you might do to be of help."

Gmail users, do this.

Someone figured out how to get into a gmail account without permission. Sound scary? Welcome to the internet.

Before you get too excited, here's what I've gleaned from the article:

• For it to work, someone has to send you a specially-crafted email with pictures in it
• You had to open that email in a browser (not in an email client like Entourage or Outlook)
• You had to "download" the pictures (by default gmail doesn't show non-embedded images in emails)
• And you had to not be using a secure connection

This just came out today, so your chances of having your account compromised are slim.

And the fix is easy. Go to Gmail, click on "Settings" in the upper right, "General" tab, and click this setting:
Your email might be a little slower, but for people with broadband they're not likely to notice. Use Google Notifier? Looks like you'll have to upgrade it...

I recommend not downloading pictures in any email you don't *really* trust. Spammers embed your email address in the image requests in their emails, so they can tell that your email address is good just by you viewing the email.

Sorry, mom, I wish the internet world was a safer place for the innocent move about. But that's why you have me, right? =)